Thursday, January 28, 2010
I'm at work. I got here at 7:00 am. It's snowing out now. Flurries, really. My 16 year old is at school. My 19 year old is home babysitting the 3 year old. My husband is at work. He is a senior systems and technical support analyst. He's quite smart. I wonder at times why on earth he married me - a simple country farm girl from Hartland, Vermont. He was born in Germany and lived most of his young life in Bolivia. He has dual citizenship - Germany and United States. He lost his parents at a young age. His father died of a heart attack and his mother died a few years later of a broken heart. He has been on his own since he was 19 years old. I cannot begin to imagine living on my own at age 19. He has one younger brother named Michael. He helped Mike through college. I think that is tremendous and commendable. I believe my husband is truly a much better person than I could ever hope to be. In August 1999, he suffered a heart attack and had a quadruple by-pass. He was 37 years old. Since then, he has had a defibrillator put in 2007. Thankfully he has had no other events since 1999. I would like to be able to reduce the stress in his life and I will if possible. I truthfully have not been a very good wife as of late. I have been a bit selfish and mean but I really would like to change that, rise above it and become a better person. I am not a perfect person nor do I pretend to be but secretly hope to be and tried to be when I was a girl and failed miserably. It do not believe perfect exists except when babies are born and flowers bloom and tiny creatures such as butterflies, ladybugs and fireflies emerge. That is perfect. That is beauty. All else is false imitation. Wannabe’s. I am a wannabe. I wannabe a good wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, what have you. The snow has stopped, for now. It’s New England, though, and the weather will change, mark my words. It always does.